I can honestly say that I am a frugal person. I put great thought into
my purchases. I rarely use credit. I enjoy saving and watching my
money grow. I wouldn’t say that I’m extreme. I don’t coupon or surf
the stores for the lowest price, but I tend to get deals on my
purchases. Because of my saving/spending habits, I am able to
purchase most things that I want within a reasonable amount of time. It
also allows me to maintain a certain level of generosity. I’d never
give away the bed that I’m sleeping on; but, if you need it and I can
spare it, you got it. Honestly, it is just that simple for me
Now I understand that everyone isn’t like me. They’re more comfortable
with spending than saving. They want everything now rather than later.
I don’t judge. Hell, it’s not my money. You can make it rain in every
store you visit. Not my problem. However, when you loose spending
habits affect me, I lose my cool.Let’s rewind a couple of weeks. As I have said, I’m a generous person.
An acquaintance came to me with a “female” emergency. We’ll just keep
it one hundred – she wanted to borrow a maxi pad(s). It just so
happened that I had plenty, so I gave the young lady my handy dandy
monthly bag and told her to take what she needed. Well, she took it
all! The next day she thanked me profusely and gave my bag back. When
I looked into the bag, I noticed that she had replaced what she used the
day before. I pulled it out and twirled it between my finger. It just
didn’t feel the same. It was a little too thick and it didn’t smell
quite right (yes, I smelled it. They were new), so I went to return it.
I explained to my acquaintance that I am very particular about my shit
(in my inner Erykah Badu voice). I only use one brand, one style. I
didn’t want to waste what she had given to me, so I told her she could
have them back. “No, no,” she said, “These are exactly the same as the
pads you gave me! Same brand, same style. Please take them.” And like
a dummy, I believed her.
Fast forward to this morning. I woke up to a surprise. I wasn’t 100
percent prepared, but I knew I had my handy dandy bag in my purse. So I
opened up my bag, took out one of the replacement pads and got to work.
What in the hell! The pad had zero stick-um, I almost pulled the wings
off and the thing had all of these George Jetson holes in it. I was
just totally outdone. It felt like I was in a parallel universe. I
mean the ish didn’t even stick! WTF!!!! My first thought was that I
should have just gone with my instinct because this chick straight lied
to me! This is not my brand and it sure as hell wasn’t what I had given
her. I was SOL literally. I had to go to the store and buy a brand new
bag (a trip that could have waited until the afternoon if I had that
good ish), which made me late for work, which thoroughly annoyed me
because now I had to take freaking LEAVE.
But the most annoying part of the whole situation is that, on the Friday
before, I listened to her go on and on about how she was going to the
spa on Friday and the expensive renovations to her home. All this money
spent and she couldn’t buy/replace exactly what she borrowed from me.
Plus, she lied about the brand to my freaking face. How hard is it to
say, “Sorry, sis. These aren’t exactly the same.” I wouldn’t have been
mad. I gave her an out. I NEVER asked her to replace them and I
OFFERED to give them back. She made sorry, replacement pads an issue.
My basic conclusion was that she felt comfortable being “cheap” about
things owed to others but “extravagant” with things bought for herself.
Translation: “You are not worth my money! Now what?!?!” I mean, how do
you think that someone will not notice that you replace Always with
Walmart? Seriously! This single incident is definitely indicative of a
larger problem. A selfish mentality. Her selfish mentality keeps her
debts unpaid and her relationships in a shambles. It prevents her
children from knowing how to responsibly manage money because everything
has to happen NOW on her time. Ultimately, her behavior perpetuates her
family’s tightrope walk over the pit of insurmountable debt that
threatens to consume them yearly.
Some might say these are strong conclusions to draw from a maxi-pad
incident but I disagree. Small interactions – tiny gestures- are the
window into people’s true nature. It’s these small interactions that
allow you to see a person’s innate goodness or evil without a word being
spoken. Plus, incidents that highlight her selfish disregard for others
have only compounded over the time that I have known her.Now, this situation will not change the way I live my life. I will
continue to be a frugally, generous person but I am wiser. She isn’t
getting any more of my good pads. Mental note: Buy Walmart loaner pads