Author: memyselfandems

Ten Lessons At Twenty-Six

Happy Birthday Ems!

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Wait. Do yall hear that? Yup, it’s Swizz Beatz’ Everyday, Birthday playing in background. Aren’t the birthday theme balloons beautiful? They’re floating peacefully in the air to celebrate my special day!

I’ve turn 26. Yay #TeamVirgo! A whole day couldn’t hold ya girl, so I’m throwing my hands up and riding the rest of this month out celebrating my b-day.  Drum roll please…let’s bring on the life lessons!

  1. Where You Spend Your Energy–Is Your Life. Don’t waste your mental energy on bull crap. I know it’s hard but try not to dwell on the negative; instead, spend more time building the person YOU want to be.
  2. Laugh Dammit! Laugher is really the best medicine, so do it more often. Find the humor in situations that would normally upset you. I find funny memes, watch comedy shows and write angry raps to keep me happy.  Next time you’re having a bad day write and perform an angry rap. I’m telling you, during the process your anger will melt away and turn into laughter. 
  3. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone. Do anything you’ve always wanted to do. I decided to roll my body in a belly dancing class. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do but was too shy to attempt. Always go towards the situations that scary you the most.
  4.  Enough said.
  5. Don’t Believe Everything You Hear. Knowledge is Power. I’ve learned the hard way to always research and find facts for myself, in any situation.
  6. What Other People Think Of You Is None Of Your Business– They can suck lemons. I’m working really hard on putting my whole focus on what I think of myself because now I know that’s more important #Hardlifelesson
  7. Good Communication Skills Equals Larger Access To The World– Learning  how to communicate effectively in both written and verbal forms to different audiences is an essential skill.  Add good listening skills to this equation and dammit you’re Beyonce. Now that I’ve said all that, I’m working like hell on this.
  8. PERFECTION=CRAZY– Nobody is perfect. Don’t try to make yourself fit into a square when you’re an awesome STAR!
  9. HAVE FUN! – Don’t wait for the perfect job, the perfect guy or the perfect situation. Create fun and happiness in your daily life
  10. Learn To Relax Every day. Everyone needs to relax. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Relaxation isn’t just for the weekends. I’ve created a daily routine to relax my mind. I talk to my friends and love ones, write in my journal and take a relaxing bubble bath while watching comedy skits.  Do anything that will get your shoulders from touching the bottoms of your earlobes to relaxing comfortably where they’re supposed to sit. That’s legal.

These are my 10.  Have any life lessons? Share them in the comment section below.

Remember to follow me on FB and Twitter!

Now back to Swizz Beatz(doing the James Brown).

EMs

Been Gone for A Minute, Now I’m Back With The Jump Off: August Favs

Hi Everybody!

Its been so long since I’ve blogged and a lot has changed. The most important change is I’VE GOT MY DRIVER’S LICENCE! I’m so proud of myself for completing my final goal of 2013(see the full list here). As everyone that I’ve told says, “Now it’s time for you to learn how to really drive.”(Lol!) I’m really proud of myself for completing my goals for 2013 (yay me!)  Besides becoming a new Philly driver, I’ve come across some goodies that I think you’ll love just as much as I do.

  1. Chasing-joy.com– I love this blog because it reminds me that happiness is a choice. Sometimes when the going gets tough and I want to punch something out I read the positive words on Arlette’s blog to help claim all of my nerves. Favorite post:  Joyfully Confident Celebrity Women  chasingjoy_header_small Spring
  1. Spotify- Who doesn’t love Spotify? I listen to this app everywhere I go. I’ve even downloaded it to my desktop to continue my listening pleasure. Besides the bomb selection of music, I love it because I can stalk my friends’ playlists.download
  2. Summer’s Eve Personal Hygiene Spray- When I’m having a tough day at work and I slam open the bathroom door, yank out a seat cover and sit down. Being engulfed in Baby Power Fresh turns me back into my sweet self and no longer the Hulk; I know TMI, but get you some.summers-eve-island-splash-deodorant-spray_1
  3. Leo Dicaprio Memes- This is for all the people who’ve seen the movie A Boy’s Life.9tfim
  4. Pop up Parks- These parks highlight the talent and beauty of Philly. My favorite pop up park is Spruce Street Harbor Park because of its beautiful scenery. This is the last month that the pop up parks will be up. Take advantage!download (1)

What have you been up to this month? Tell me in the comments below.

Jesse Williams Is The Realest Out There

I came across this YouTube video of Jesse Williams giving a news reporter the best America history lesson, when discussing the Jordan Davis trial.  Jesse went in to great detail about the issues that race plays in our justice system, and why he felt the verdict would be similar to the Treyon Martin case.

What I really like about Jesse Williams is that he stands by what he believes in, and doesn’t allow his celebrity to out-shadow his true opinions.  Furthermore, I admired that he stepped out and spoke about this case even though other celebrities who were very vocal about the Treyvon Martin case did not.

The verdict for the Jordan Davis case really baffles me because it should’ve been simple…life in prison. These types of cases show the world that even though America has a black president there is still a lot of work ahead for race equality in this country.  As you know, if the situation was switched of course the black teen would’ve been sentenced to life in prison, no questions asked.

Is That A Pink Sloth? No, It’s A Pinterest Fail.

Hello Peeps,

I hope all of my Emmi friends from around the world are tuck in cozy and warm. Currently in Philly we’re enjoying a white Christmas after the holiday, and I thought it would be the perfect time to do a DIY project.

wpid-IMAG0137.jpgSlippers

 

 

Yup, those slacked house slippers up top were supposed to look like this.

Sweater Slipper Boots

The tutorial looked simple enough, and I did everything to the T, but they still came out looking like loose granny panties. I’ll give myself a pat on the back for almost getting the foot shape right… almost.

When I walk around the house in these babies my family laugh  like hyenas because my slippers slide down like a stripper going down a pole. A quick trip downstairs to put a dish in the sink causes the heel of my foot to make an appearance.  Yes, my slippers suck but they’re so warm because they were made from my favorite sweater (win!).

From the sponge ombre nails to creating a tee shirt dress, my Pinterest projects always come out looking FAWKED up, but I’ll never give up!

Ever tried a Pinterest DIY Project? How did yours come out?

Affirming Me

Ok, so last week was a trying one, but I’m happy to say that I made it through. How did I do it, you ask? Affirmations.  I have always dealt with having low self-esteem. I was a bigger kid when growing up and really wanted to be liked by others, so I’ve dealt with being bullied and teased. Sadly, that behavior hasn’t stopped much into adulthood because even adults can be cruel.  This year’s word is Time, and I’ve really been thinking about how long will I care, I mean really care, about what other people think of me? I decided to start using affirmations as a way to counteract my negative self-thoughts. .

Taking two minutes for myself every day to say out loud that I’m pretty, smart and can do anything I put my mind to, has really helped me.  If I hear something that would normally tear away at my self-esteem. I remember my affirmations.  Now I’m beginning to know longer BELIEVE those negative statements from past experiences that were imprinted in to my subconscious and re-played in my mind. I’m finally learning that it does not matter what other people think of me. What really matters is how I think and feel about myself because that is the only way that I’m going to truly love ME.

If you’re dealing with a tough situation or want to become more positive try using affirmations.

Here are the rules.

  1. The statement must be written/ said in the present tense and with feeling.
  2. Repeat your affirmations morning and night-Repetition is key!

 

Here’s a good video about how to build self-esteem.

 

 

 

I’m thinking about starting an affirmation challenge. Tell me what you think in the comments below.

-MMEm’s

Well It’s A Wrap! Goodbye 2013

Last New Year’s, I wasn’t out having fun popping bottles or getting a kiss at midnight by some sexy man. Instead, I was at home making a painting of 2013, which I lost a few days ago. I painted the background Aqua. I made the 2013 numbers really stand out in yellow block letters. The confetti… gosh, I used glitter paint in every color you could think of because I knew that 2013 was my YEAR!

Now that 2013 is over, I’m proud that I took the leap on many of my goals and decided to share them on my blog. So, let’s take a quick trip down memory lane.

  1. I created an online dating profile and went on a date. Even though the date didn’t pan out the way I wanted, I got the experience to learn more about what I want in a potential boyfriend. This year, I will define what I’m seeking in a relationship.
  2.  I’ve built better social skills. Ok, I’m a shy person and I tend to over think things. In 2013, I actually opened up.  Now I’m really in the moment. I get a little nervous and it shows through my body language, but even with all of that I’ve improved tremendously because I put more effort into building relationships, hanging out with friends and meeting and making new friends both in-person and online.
  3. My last two goals were finding a new career and learning how to drive. I did just that… well on the career part. I found a new job in a healthier environment with tons of growth opportunities. I don’t have my driver’s license, but that is my top goal in 2014.

My word for 2014 is Time. I have so many goals, and sometimes I just think of the finish product and not about the effort it takes to complete them. Sometimes, I don’t even get started or put my best effort forward because I didn’t prepare. Toward the end of 2013, I noticed how important time really was and why I shouldn’t waste it on petty or stupid things that I don’t have any control over.

This year, I really want to work on bettering myself and becoming my best self. This woman that I will become will be more relaxed and self-assured in her abilities, and she’ll step out of her comfort zone to attain her goals. This woman is getting out of her own way and just going after what she truly wants in life because she believes that she can actually do it. She doesn’t define herself based on what other people think of her. This woman is in me and she’s finally going to make her appearance in 2014.

Thanks for showing your girl some love. Happy New Year!!!

-Me, Myself and Ems

Our First Date…

Hello!

So remember the southern gentlemen that I told you about? After our second Skype date he asked me out on a real date. I was so excited because everything was going pretty well, so I really wanted to meet him.

Picking our first date location was when I started to see more of his true colors. He wanted our FIRST date to be at the Kanye West concert… ah no!  Now I thought this wasn’t the best idea because obviously we wouldn’t be able to communicate to each other, while dance around to Yeeuz. So, I thought that going to the museum would be a great first date, especially since he’s new to the city. Now even though I didn’t like the concert idea, I gave him the respect to just say no. He didn’t even give my idea a chance, stating “museums are corny” (strike one).  I felt the way that he shot down my date idea was disrespectful and lacked taste, especially when his idea was a freakin’ concert.

So, I decided to let that comment roll off my shoulders, and we both agreed to meet  Saturday at  Maggiano’s.  Notice what’s missing from the equation… the TIME.  I suggested we meet for lunch around 1pm,   He’s response was “oh, you’re not spontaneous are you? Does everything have to be planned out?”. I said, “Yes!” He thought 1pm was too early because the weekend is his only time to sleep in, so instead of suggesting a different time, he wanted to play it by ear to when HE woke up (strike two).  He finally agreed to the  1pm time.  Now, even though all of these little signs were pop rockin’ in my face, I still decided to go on the date.

So it’s date time! I’m put on a cute outfit, makeup and hair was cute. I went over all the dating tips you guys give me (Yes, I was listening).  The tip that stuck with me the most was listening to my gut.   Mr. Southern Gentlemen arrived to the restaurant an half hour before I did. I get to the restaurant and couldn’t find him. I checked in with the hostess to see if he grabbed  a table, but he didn’t check in.  I go into the restaurant looking for him… and it turns out his at the damn bar.

What I failed to tell you guys about Mr. Southern Gentlemen is that he likes to drink… hard beverages( alcohol) . He would tell me about his adventures in drinking while on Skype.   He thought that drinking would’ve been a part of his career, just in case you were wondering– it’s NOT.  So when he hugged me from behind smelling like beer and wearing a grey hoodie,  I knew that this wouldn’t go any further.

We were ushered to our seats. We’re sitting in a huge booth that could seat about 8 people, so  instead of sitting across from each other, we’re sitting next to each other, which made talking really weird. But, the first thing that he does when we sit down is look at me like this

drunk face

I’m like damn homie, really. He claimed that he only had one beer. Yeah right. As the date goes on, my dislikes for him increases.  I found him to be extremely annoying.  He tells me that LOVE isn’t a necessity and that no man in their twenties is looking for love because they’re focused on their careers, so since my hands were washed of this dating situation… I gave not a damn care.

When the waiter asked if we wanted a dessert menu, Mr. Southern Gentlemen screamed “Noooo!” because he thought the prices at the restaurant were too high, even though he agreed on the restaurant! So the last part of our date was to walk around the city of Brotherly Love. He had to go to the bathroom and wanted me to wait for him outside of the restroom. I told him that I would wait for him outside. While he walked to the bathroom, I was walking to the sub.

What I learned from this date gone hella wrong:

1. The writing is on the wall, dammit read it!- I had millions of signs that showed me  that he was selfish, careless and not the right match for me, but I decided to not pay attention to them.

3. An Ace and a Queen aren’t a match- I was really trying to make our differences match, but I couldn’t, and dating shouldn’t be work, it should be fun!

Tell me how you feel in the comment section.

-MMems

The 5 Things That I’m Grateful For

Happy Turkey Day!

turkey day

I know its been awhile since my last post, last week was very difficult for me. My computer broke for no reason at all. I’ve only had it for a year and the thing has been hell the whole time. Then, my phone broke so my connection to the social media world was gone.  So now that I’m back on this great day. I though it would be the perfect time to  write what I’m grateful for.

1. I am grateful for my family and friends – I was going through a very difficult situation at work and my family and friends were there for me. They listened to my venting and encouraged me to look to the brighter side.  They gave me the courage to look for a better opportunity. and I’m here now with a new job in a better environment.

2.  I’m grateful for change – I used to be afraid of change in my life because I liked everything to stay the same. But now I understand the importance of change, especially in myself.

3. I’m grateful for positive blogs – These blogs  really keep me going and thinking positively during times when I’m not  so happy. I love reading the positive stories and learning new ways to bring joy and happiness into my life.

4. I’m grateful for relaxation – I’m a worker bee. I’m always buzzing around something, trying to do this or that . This month I learned about relaxation techniques, such as meditation, breathing exercises and luxurious baths. I learned to start implementing more relaxation methods into my daily routine so I feel better and happier throughout the week.

5. I’m grateful for all of my social media buddies!- I’m sending a big  thanks  and a slice of (insert favorite pie/ cake) to all of my subbies. Thank you for reading my blog and showing me techniques to enhance your reading experience. Thank you for your comments and well wishes. I started this blog last year and it really felt like I was writing out into the universe. I didn’t take the time to actually learn how to build a community online, and I ‘m very grateful to have met great people who have took a chance on reading my blog.

Thank you and have a happy and tasty Thanksgiving!

-MMems

First comes the app, then comes the phone

Hello all,

heart-phone

Ok, so remember my first post about joining an online dating site and all my mishaps and craziness (if you didn’t get a chance to check it out, read it here )? At the end of that post, I spoke about meeting a good guy.  I was messaged by a Southern gentlemen who relocated to Philadelphia for a job opportunity. We hit it off pretty quickly because we shared  the love for the Walking Dead, live concerts and  reading good books. Since our conversations were going so well online, I decided to ask him for  his phone number. Now I know what you’re thinking… the guy is supposed to make the first move. I tried yall… I really did try, but I just thought he was taking to long to ask. Maybe he didn’t know the right time or didn’t want to seem forceful I don’t know, but I thought it was a good time to move this thing along.

Our first conversation on the phone was great. He’s a jokers. I got to learn more about his background , and really it just felt like I was talking to an old friend. Surprisingly , I felt comfortable speaking with him.  The only weird part is whenever we talk I keep reminding myself that I don’t really know him . Yes, I know his favorite things to do, some of his family background and his job title, but I feel that there’s something missing.  I don’t know if I’m being uptight with this, but I still have some apprehensive due to all the Lifetime movies where the women finds the perfect man online and ends up with a knife to her throat! This is my way of  not getting to caught up in the greatness of him and remembering the reality of the situation.  This is true with dating period, whether it’s online or in person.

For all those who’ve tried online dating, what methods do you use to keep yourself safe while cruising for love online?

 

Hanging out: Fall Festival 2013

Hello!

A few Sundays ago, I attended Fall Festival in Center City.  I’ve never been to an event like this before, and it was cool stepping outside of my comfort zone to experience something new.  There were tons of fun performances by the University of the Arts students, jewelry and art vendors, very yummy food from Philly’s best restaurants, and the best of all… SUMO WRESTLING!

Here are the DURING and AFTER pictures of some really good food.  I tried to take some BEFORE pictures  but… no bueno.

IMAG0054This freshly made lovely took a twist on the classic chocolate hardshell ice cream pop because it was salted caramel flavor. This STILL has my mouth watering like Wendy Williams when she talks about food… it was that good.
IMAG0048 As you can tell from the picture, this  was close to the final stages of a banging samosa.

All in all, I had a great time catching some fresh air and having unexpected fun on a Sunday afternoon. Also, it felt good meeting new people from different backgrounds and experiencing hidden treasures in Philadelphia.

Hope to see you there next year!

-EEM’s